Samantha
46 years, Female | British Columbia
“My first step was talking to my family doctor and telling him everything. He was supportive and gave me more medicine and sent me to a place called Coastal Health Rapid Access Program for mental health. However, getting help there wasn't quick. It took three to four weeks just to talk to a nurse. Then, it took another month or two to see a mental health professional at the hospital.”
My journey with mental health hasn't been easy. It all began about 10 years ago, around 2012, when I was struggling with feelings of sadness, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. I tried dealing with these feelings on my own for a while, but things got so tough that I felt like I was falling apart and needed help.
My first step was talking to my family doctor and telling him everything. He was supportive and gave me more medicine and sent me to a place called Coastal Health Rapid Access Program for mental health. However, getting help there wasn't quick. It took three to four weeks just to talk to a nurse. Then, it took another month or two to see a mental health professional at the hospital. After a long three-hour talk with them, they said they couldn't do much for me. They didn't change my medicine nor offer me personal therapy. They suggested I try group therapy, but it didn't work out because I saw someone I knew there and felt uncomfortable.
My doctor then sent me to another mental health clinic, but I had to wait about a year to get in. When I finally did, I saw a mental health professional there for five years. But all they did was give me medicine; they didn't offer any therapy. And because I couldn't afford to pay for private therapy, I felt stuck. I felt like I was taking too much medicine – sometimes up to nine different kinds – and still not feeling better.
In 2018, my son passed away, and I felt like I fell apart completely. I knew I needed more help and different help, at that. I went back to my family doctor, who sent me to the Hope Centre, just before he left his job. I spoke to a nurse and then another mental health professional there. This time, they said I was taking too much medicine and decided not to give me any more. But without a family doctor, I couldn't get my medicine anymore. This meant that I had to abruptly stop my medication, while still grieving my son. I felt like no one in the healthcare system was there for me when I needed them.
After about six months, I got a surprise call from the Hope Centre. They offered me an appointment with a counselor. I went there, but after waiting for an hour and a half, I found out the counselor didn't work there anymore. A few weeks later, they called me about seeing another mental health professional. I considered not going, but decided to give it one more try. Luckily, this time it was helpful. They're helping me deal with tough times, but I only get 10 appointments. I’m halfway through them now, but I know I'll be on my own after they're done. They offered to let me see a doctor who can give me medicine, but I don't want to take any more medicine. I’m worried that's the only help they'll give me.
I don’t feel like I have many people to talk to about my mental health. People don't like talking about it, especially when it comes to my son's death. They're supportive of me getting help, but they don't want to be part of it. I found some friends online who understand what I’m going through, but I know what I really need is more therapy to help me deal with everything. But I’m not sure if that's something I'll get.
Disclaimer: All names featured throughout this report have been changed to protect the identity of participants. These individuals were selected at random from a group of individuals that recently completed an online blind survey about mental health, and self-identified as having a mental health diagnosis. Participants were compensated financially for sharing their stories, with a commitment from MHRC to privacy and anonymity.
If you are in crisis, please go to the closest hospital or call 911. If you’re thinking about suicide, call or text 988 toll-free, anytime.